Multifaceted copywriter.

+ content, marketing, tech, editorial, & comedy

 featured in
the onion logo

Recent Work

I’ve had 45+ original jokes published on Reductress and written social media videos for Duolingo that have gained over 3 million views.

I’m a contributor to The Onion, and I’ve pitched hundreds of topical headlines with a 25% acceptance rate (not bad given the competition; there are 100+ contributors weekly).

I’m trained in advertising and marketing copywriting from Miami Ad School and comedy and satire from The Second City. I have been working in media and advertising for nearly a decade.

I associate produced “The God Committee,” which was selected for the 2021 Tribeca Film Festival. You can watch the trailer here and find my IMDb profile here.

Portfolio Highlights

Duolingo: Lily Plushie Commercial

Duolingo: Shocking Home Invasion

Reductress: I’m Not Afraid of Death. I’m Afraid of People Seeing the Inspirational Quotes I Saved on My Phone.

Reductress: Stoned Woman Eating Pretzel Bread at Aquarium Has No Need for God or Money.
(This headline went viral and is on Reductress merch.)

Reductress: QUIZ: Is This Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Phoebe Bridgers, or A Feeble Bridge?
(This headline went viral and is on Reductress merch.)

Substack: White Lady Frankenstein
(I do this weekly newsletter in my free time. Readers have called it “weird” and “certainly something that’s online”.)

I came up with this

Hi, my name is Danielle. I look like every person who ran middle school cross country.

I have a background in film, television, and commercial production. Notably, I was an Associate Producer on the independent film The God Committee, which was selected for the 2021 Tribeca Film Festival.

I started my career in an entertainment agency mailroom where I bought a coat for Guy Fieri's agent (it was grey) and left an awkward voicemail for Bernadette Peters. I later worked for top executives in television, film, and advertising, where I refined my sales, marketing, project management, and communications skills.

Thank you for reading this if you are still reading it.